you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
