do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
