i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
