Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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