Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
