is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
