Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Are we still banned from the library?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize