why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
