If i come over, it means nothing
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
