The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
