We're like a lot better than the average bears
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
