I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
