Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize