I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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