Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
