i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
