We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Randomize