Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
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