you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I love having hate sex.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
