that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
