I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
