just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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