Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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