at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
