I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
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