Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
