oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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