peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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