Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
