I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Randomize
