haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
we're so committed to being not committed
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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