wat bout pragnant strippers??
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
