i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
