Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
