really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
