He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
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