Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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