He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
