But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Congratulations! We have a period
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