What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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