She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I AM VODKA MAN
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Randomize
