roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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