dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
This is the high leading the old right now
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
