I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
