I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
