I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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