You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
