he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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