I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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