I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize