He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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