so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
