But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
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