All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
