Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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