Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Help. Why am I so naked?
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