After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
