He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
